How Do I Improve My Self Esteem? Here are Some Tips.
We started talking about self esteem in a previous post and here, we said that our self esteem is the way in which we value and appreciate ourselves. It is how we recognise and treat the strengths, qualities and attributes that not only make us who we are but more so, that make us unique.
We also came to the understanding that our self esteems are primarily influenced by the messages we receive from others but our childhood experiences, our environments, our successes and our failures also play a big role in how we see ourselves and how this perception affects us.
Now, as you should know, there are two types of self esteem. There is a favourable self esteem and an unfavourable self esteem- high self esteem and low self esteem. Of course, there are many degrees in between but high self esteem and low self esteem are the two main degrees of self esteem.
Although this is the general view, having a high self esteem does not necessarily mean that you are self-absorbed, self-centred or overly self-confident. Having a high self esteem does not mean that you believe that you are perfect in every way and in every thing or better than anyone. Having a high self simply means that you are able to take an honest, positive look at everything you are and everything you have and appreciating them.
In the same way, having a low self esteem does not mean that you think you are the scum of the earth or less deserving of an accomplished life. Having a low self esteem simply means that you may have a difficulty in appreciating everything you are and everything you have.
So, answer me this. Do you have a high self esteem or a low self esteem?
Well, whether you have a high self esteem or a low self esteem or a self esteem in between, as your self esteem is not static…it does not always stay the same…there are times when you would need to improve your self esteem in one way or another. In those times, remember these tips.
- First of all, understand yourself. Understand those qualities, those skills, those talents that make you you and in making you who you are, those qualities, skills and talents that make you unique. You are special and the only way to improve your self esteem is to first understand that. When you understand, you will be able to appreciate yourself and what you have.
- Believe that you can achieve any and everything that you desire. Believe that you are capable and special in all things. This small step can lead to another in boosting and more than that, developing your confidence.
- Understand that you are going to make mistakes. Heck, I am convinced that life is 90% of mistakes and only 10% of successes. But in retrospect, life’s mistakes are successes because that is the way we learn. You are going to make mistakes. Do not allow it to take a toll on your confidence. Learn from it and move on.
- Dispel all negative thoughts that you may have about yourself. They may come. It is inevitable. But when they do come, replace them with thoughts of praise…thoughts that will allow you to appreciate the good things about you.
- Find something that you are good at. Even if you cannot find something that you are good at, practice a skill until you have gained proficiency. Being good at something helps us to gain confidence and from confidence, self esteem.
- Find someone that you can be accountable to. Ensure that this person understands the struggles that you have with your self esteem and is able to not only encourage you to improve your self esteem but also, take an active role in the process.
Think about this. As much as it is important to improve your self esteem, you also have a responsibility to ensure that the self esteem of others is not harmed or degraded in any way. You do not want to inflict the same pain you feel on others.
In this light, here are a few tips to ensure that the self esteem of others (at least as much as it deals with you) is protected.
- Understand that, like you, others are special and unique and should be treated as such. With understanding comes appreciation.
- Appreciate the life experiences that others have. They may not be the same as yours, yes, but that does not mean that they are any less important than yours. See life from their shoes and understand what makes them them.
- Share your strengths. Don’t be afraid to share with others what you have done and what you are likely to achieve. When you have done that, tell others about their strengths…what you like about them…what you admire about them.
So there it is! I hope that these tips will help you to improve your self esteem in those times when it is low.